Oh, to be 5 again: Week 12

Erc recently told her kindergarteners that she is pregnant. She began by telling them that she had very exciting news—she was going to have a baby. She then explained that when the baby grows, her tummy will get bigger. The following conversation then proceeded.

Mark*: Are you having a boy or a girl?
Erc: I don’t know yet.
James*: Yeah, the baby doesn’t have any hair yet, and you have to wait until they have hair to tell what they are going to be. A boy will have short hair and a girl will have long hair.
Erc (after deciding that James’ explanation was suitable for 5 year olds): Yep!

* Not the children's real names.

Kindergarten Visit

Erc—the kindergarten teacher we all know and love—invited me to bring Easton in to visit her class. She had told them all about him and had said that she would see if I would bring him in.

I came in on Monday, the classroom was colorfully decorated and completely void of children (they were at Music). Erc had a napkin with a handful of goldfish crackers at each chair and was getting ready for the next part of the day. She left to go pick up the kids. Two minutes later nineteen kindergarteners came literally tiptoeing into the classroom and to their seats. (Erc had informed them that they had a very special visitor and that visitor was sleeping).

Then I got to see her in action. She is GREAT with the kids. They listen attentively as she gives specific instructions and she keeps up that 5-year-old energy the entire time (something I definitely could not do).

I proceeded to get Easton out of his car seat and the kids gathered in front of the Story Time chair. Then the questions began. (My mental answers will be in parenthesis)

Does he walk?
What does he eat?
Does he roll on the sidewalk? (Do YOU roll on the sidewalk?)
How much does he weigh?
Can he talk?
When will he get more hair?
Are you still breastfeeding? (Answer and move on to the next kid—quick, quick!)
Why doesn’t he have shoes on?

At this point Easton was not appreciating all of the unfamiliar faces and started crying. He settled right down with his binky but from then on, some kids kept their eyes on him like he was going to explode. And then the questions continued.

Does he go to the bathroom?
(Insert about 5 kids who raised their hands to ask a question and then when I called on them, forgot what they were going to say).
Does he like his pacifier?

Then the kids waved goodbye and we left.

Ah, the innocence.

I didn’t take any pictures, since I figured that most parents wouldn’t appreciate their precious little ones online, but you can see updated pics of Easton on his blog.

Oh, to be 5 again: Week 11

Nathan*: Mrs. S, Bill* is taking a REALLY long time at his center!

Erc: Bill, are you about finished with your project?

Bill: I haven’t been here for a long time! I’ve only been here for a YEAR!

Erc (as she thinks about how she needs to go over this subject again): Bill, a year is a really long time. Do you mean that you have been at this center for a few minutes?

Bill: Yeah! I’ve only been here for a few minutes!

*Not the children’s real names

Oh, to be 5 again: Week 10

Henry*: Mrs. S, I’m going to put my project over by the stapler and the tape-ler**.
Erc: The stapler and the what?
Henry: The tape-ler, you know the thing that holds the tape.
Erc: Henry, that is actually called a tape dispenser.

*Not the child’s real name.
**This is my technical spelling of the word. Personally, I think that Henry is brilliant and we should all start calling it the tape-ler. I mean, it rhymes, they usually sit next to each other on any desk, and it is a heck of a lot easier to say than tape dispenser.
***In case you are checking, these asterisks do not reference anything above, but I just wanted to state that I will not be back until next week (BIG events at work this weekend that I am in charge of).

Oh, to be 5 again: Week 9

Last week Erc walked up to a group of her students on the playground. One of them (let’s call him Bruno) was visibly upset.

Erc: Bruno? What is wrong?
Bruno: They (pointing at the group) say that (let's call him Chuck) is taller, but I know he isn’t. I’m 7 and he is only 6, so I am taller.
Erc: Well Bruno, Chuck is taller.
Bruno: No he isn’t! I’m seven!
Erc: Just because you are older doesn’t mean that you are also taller. Everyone grows at different speeds. I’m taller than my sister who is older than me, and my younger brother is taller than me.

An important life lesson learned.

Teacher Gems Postponed

Erc is home sick from teaching.

Which means she is really, really sick since she declared to me just the other day that working while a little under-the-weather is much preferred to working up a sub plan.

In its place I was asked to update our states visited map by Ronnie. (Which is still very pathetic, but better than before).



create your own personalized map of the USA
or write about it on the open travel guide

Oh, to be 5 again: Week 8

Jeff*: I’m not going to be here when everybody is bad and gets clips on their name tags.
Erc: Oh? Well, I don’t think that everyone will be bad.
Jeff: Well, I’m going to be in Texas.
Erc: Texas?
Jeff: Yeah, I go there a lot to visit my good friend George Strait.
Erc: Really.
Jeff: Yeah. You wanna know something funny? Whenever I am there visiting my good friend George Strait people always ask for my autograph!

*Not the child’s real name. Also, it should probably be mentioned that this particular child makes things up regularly, so Erc was aware of the falseness from the beginning. This was one of the most “out-there” stories told to date.

Oh, to be 5 again: Week 7

Erc has a discipline system that includes clips. When she has to get after a child, a clip goes on their name tag. Two clips in one day and they have to miss recess (which, according to any elementary-aged child is the WORST punishment possible).

Normally, Erc makes this time extremely boring for them. They can’t help her with any projects, they can’t read or do any activities, etc. They just sit.

Bill* had gotten two clips and was in for recess. Erc had a deadline to get a few things into the office, so she took Bill down the hall with her. On the way, the following conversation happened.

Bill: I just know that when teachers are bad they get clips on their nametags. I just know it.
Erc: Oh yeah?
Bill: Yeah, probably in the principal’s office there are nametags for the clips. You didn’t even have to tell me they were there. I just know.

Apparently, the entire world is run on a system of clips on nametags.

*Not the child’s real name.

Be sure to scroll down to see the winner of the giveaway!

Oh, to be 5 again: Week 6

Erc holds verbal sharing daily. The class discusses a topic and it gives each child a chance to say something in front of everyone (vital for those overly shy children). This particular day, everyone was supposed to name something that started with a “G.”

Bob*: Gecko starts with G!
Erc: That’s right Bob, great job.
Sue*: What’s a gecko?
Erc: It’s kind of like a lizard.
Ryan*: Gecko also means something else.
Erc: I don’t think so Ryan. I’m pretty sure it is just a lizard.
Ryan: No, it is also when you hear yourself over and over and over.
Other kids: Yeah, it means that too!

Erc now has to ponder for a moment about what they could possibly be talking about—then it comes to her.

Erc: Oh! Ryan, what you are talking about is an ECHO.

Gecko, echo—it’s a good thing we got that straightened out.

*Not the children's real names.

Oh, to be 5 again: Week 5

Erc was teaching a reading group and could not get John* to be quiet.

Erc: John! Please turn around and pay attention.
Erc: John, I am talking, you are not.
Erc: John, you are driving me CRAZY!
John: It’s okay Mrs. S., you drive me crazy sometimes too! We can drive each OTHER crazy.

*Not his real name.

Oh, to be 5 again: Week 4

There are two kindergarten classrooms in Erc’s school. They break into reading groups with the two classes based on skill. The other teacher has a little boy (we’ll call him Fred) who has been a little obsessed with religion lately and brings up Jesus, etc. quite frequently. Another boy in the same reading group is from Erc’s classroom and is LDS (we’ll call him George).

During reading group time, Fred came running up to the other teacher.

Fred: Teacher, George says that Jesus is his brother and I know that isn’t true.
George: Jesus IS my brother.
Fred: No he is NOT!
Teacher: Boys, Jesus and religion are things that you need to talk to your parents about at home; we don’t talk about them at school.
George: But Jesus REALLY is my brother!

The class moved on and the subject was dropped.

Little George is in my primary and for the last two weeks we have been talking about the pre-earth life, the Plan of Salvation and how Jesus is our brother.

Obviously, our lessons are taking hold.

LDS Notes: Primary is the class that children go to during part of church. If you have other questions, you can find answers here or contact me.

Oh, to be 5 again: Week 3

I’m sure you all remember how excited you were for Show & Tell in kindergarten. Erc creates a theme each week and the kids are supposed to bring something that fits into that theme. The item also has to fit in a regular brown lunch sack. (She has found that this minimizes the bringing of their favorite toys).

The week before Christmas break her class had the theme of “winter.” The kids went around the circle sharing what they had brought. Soon they came to Sam*. Sam had something very large stuffed under his sweatshirt. He proceeded to pull out his Columbia brand coat.

Erc: Sam, did you forget to bring something?
Sam: No, this is my favorite winter item. It keeps me very warm.
Erc: Sam, it doesn’t fit into your sack, so I don’t think you can share today.
Sam: Well, it’s really special because my mom and I made it.
Erc: Really!?! It has a tag on the inside, and usually tags are only on items that we buy.
Sam: Well, my mom and I bought the fabric and cut it out and sewed it—then we put the tag on ourselves.
Erc: It's a good thing your mom is coming in this afternoon to help with centers, so I can ask her how she made it!

It was at this point that Sam realized he was caught. (Erc says the look on his face was priceless). He quickly tried to backpedal.

Sam: Actually, I just remembered that we did buy this coat. I got it mixed up with another one. You don’t have to ask her about it.
Erc: (moving on with a smile on her face) Sally*, what did you bring today?

*Not the child’s real name.

Oh, to be 5 again: Week 2

Scene: On the playground, a boy in my sister’s class hits another boy.

Boy2: Mrs. S, Boy1 hit me!
Erc: Boy1, we do not hit. Why did you hit Boy2?
Boy1: Because I like carrots.

And that was the only explanation he ever gave.

Oh, to be 5 again

As I have stated before, my sister is a Kindergarten teacher. If you are like Ronnie, you may pronounce that kind-EE-garten.

As you may imagine, she has some pretty good stories. So every Wednesday (unless she doesn’t have any blog worthy ones) I will post a little gem from her classroom.

This week’s gem happened before Christmas.

Student: Mrs. S, I have to go to the store to get your Christmas present.

Erc (Mrs. S): Oh, you don’t have to get me anything.

Student: I’m going to buy you a new car.

Erc: Those are pretty expensive, are you sure you can afford it?

Student: Yep. I just lost my first tooth and the tooth fairy left me a LOT of money.

Erc (under breath as she just smiles at the student): I’ll lose a tooth if it means a new car.

You may be surprised to learn that her gift fit into the backpack of the student and did not have to be parked outside.

Edited to add: Guess who just realized it is Thursday? So lets pretend that I am not a *complete* idiot and just change this little weekly to Thursdays instead.